Mommy?

Someone missed her mommy today

Family has new meaning and Participants

Sometimes it's the little things that sneak up on you....I lost it today, I was completely broken till Bob called and asked "sweetie what is really bothering you and no it is not the green beans?" I lost my family all at the hands of my asshat soon to be ex-husband. I spent Thanksgiving with a beautiful family, we laughed and joked and had a pleasant time just being together. I thought for sure my dad would put everything aside and at least send a text...a simple Happy Turkey Day text, he didn't nor did my mother, brother,sister, niece or nephews. I am truly an orphan, I have no blood family to speak of, none, sadly not a single one. I did not cry, I will not give them that, they don't get to touch me like that anymore. I have decided that this is my new reality and I will adjust and be stronger for it. I have no idea what was said to my family because when I asked I was told that I don't exist to them anymore and they wanted nothing to do with me and that was that...that was until my father texted me in July calling me all kinds of vile things and names that a father should never call his child...a child who for their entire life looked up to him, held him on a pedestal and thought he hung the moon. I sacrificed everything I had for him almost losing my house so that i could be with him everyday while he laid in Boston on life support, i was there everyday, every damn day! I did everything for him.....he was given a second chance in life and yet he chose to become a mean, angry asshat. I wanted more for James...I wanted his heart to live on and mean something....sadly it was wasted on a man who is the most ungrateful man you will ever meet.

Saturday morning

I love that we are both just hanging out sitting on the couch with Mittens between us. Nothing going on, nothing pressing that has to be done this very minute, just enjoying time together and loving every minute of the stillness of the day.I don't know what today will bring but I do know I am happy and content. I love feeling like this and knowing I am cared for and loved not just by Bob but by my friends who have become family. I can not thank the McDonoughs enough for all they have done for me over the past 7 months, truly thankful beyond words....no pun intended.

It did not suck

I ran 3 quick miles after work because Bob wants a specific dinner tonight, so I worked for it,lol. No sitting on the couch watching my ass cheeks spread.

Not on the Sidelines

I love that I work my ass off all week and I'm rewarded nicely with a 4 hour friday workday. I love knowing I get up,show up,give 110% and my work is appreciated. I love my patients and my staff, but what I really love is the self satisfaction I get from knowing that I got the job done, I did it, I didn't ask for a handout, a workman's comp check, nothing but pure ass kicking get out of bed and put in an honest days work without whining. I love that I run , ride and play with the boys...I don't sit on the sidelines anymore. I'm out of of my comfort zone and taking chances. I have finally learned to break free of the prison I lived in for so long and I now laugh,giggle,smile and enjoy being with friends.

Text messages

I love that Bob and I can laugh, have fun, pick on each other, and know in the end we really care and respect one another.
He makes my mornings bright and my nights wildly romantic.

Amazing...

I have simply the very best boyfriend, he knew I had a tough Saturday and couldn't be with me due to a commitment with his youngest...so on Sunday he showed up with flowers and ice cream. Nothing means more than a guy knowing exactly what you need without having to say a word. Not only did he bring flowers, he brought Lilies which are my favorite and hold a special place in my heart...when I get unexpected Lilies I always think it's my girl Lily's way of popping in and saying "hi mom, I'm still  here looking after you" Bob has no idea what Lilies mean to me or symbolize,I've never shared that till now.

My first Vlog...I'm such a nerd!!!!

Lazy Sunday

Hanging out, no makeup, hair in a messy bun, running tights and a big sweatshirt, this is how I do Sunday !!

I love my new freedom, I love that I have a healthy relationship and I am very very happy.
So my #pimpinjoy post is....
Even though I hate football, I am looking forward to watching the Pats game with BOb this afternoon, because I know it is something he truly enjoys, and I love just spending time with him, no matter if its going to a movie or sitting home watching a football game. We are a good fit, climbing a mountain, sitting on the couch hanging out or walking around Gillette taking in the sights.

6 in 2016

I will be running at least 6 half marathons in 2016...beginning with all the New England states.
Tri Noosa 9 and Tri Noosa 10  will get me from the starting line to the finish line!

Everyday is a Good Day

Sometimes you just need to laugh and move on...

Every day is a good day....

 11/15/15...good.....hanging out with Mittens watching Hallmark movies and eating Chicken Piccatta for my long run tomorrow....Ride class is a possibility...but I'd like to try and get in 10 miles in the morning.

Moving on....

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...I moved my remaining things out of the asshats house yesterday...I am happy to know I am no longer imprisoned in his grasp, i am free to be who and what I choose to be. I can live freely and run my life the way I see fit.
I have a great guy whom I adore and I also adore his children...his Boys are amazing and very well behaved, while they are thriving and rambunctious boys they are wonderful.
I miss my babies more than I ever thought possible but I need to turn those feelings off, I will never see them again and I need to keep their memories alive through pictures and memories. I love and miss them dearly...they forever will be my babies, they were my world, my life, my reason for breathing. I have Mittens now, my little baby girl, my kitty...she is adorable and very very loving, as I type she is in my lap and on my keyboard....she is a very loving affectionate kitty.